401khaos

My most recent paycheck included my first deduction into my 401k account. Great time to start investing , right? I picked the plan our strapping young advisor, Dario, suggested, hoping to avoid as much as the market volatility as I can (yea right). It's crazy seeing how much people with a lot of money in their 401k's have lost so much recently, even those not involved in some form of Ponzi scheme. It's a little unnerving that my retirement money is in the hands of something I don't know much about.

When I noticed the deduction from my paycheck, it got me thinking about all the things I want to do in life. Places to go, people to see, all that good stuff. Several months ago Rick and I made "things to do before we die" lists. A lot of those things I'd prefer to do before I reach retirement, especially considering I'm probably going to be working until I'm 85 at this rate.

Unfortunately, a lot of those things involve money in some way shape or form. Money is scary to me. Even right now, while I live at home and have very few expenses, money is scary. I very often drift into thinking about whether I will have enough money to move out, to get married, to have kids, to retire. Talk about getting ahead of myself.

There are some things I don't hesitate to spend money on. Food seems to be one of them (surprised?). Gas to go see Rick. Paying back my loans by more than I need to so I'm done sooner. But there are many other things I can't justify spending money on. For example, CNY Blooms (I really like flowers) is coming up in March on a weekend when Rick might be here. I looked it up online to find more info - tickets are $8 each. Forget it. To me, that seems like a lot - even though I know I could afford it.

I think I'm a good saver. I've had a savings account since I was seven and rarely touch it. Direct deposit helps. And now with this 401k I'm putting money toward retirement (aka when my body catches up with my mind).

I wish, to some extent, I could think like those people who say, "You're never going to have enough money to (insert activity here), so you might as well do it now." On the other hand, to some extent I wish I could be more self-disciplined and frugal. I guess I need that happy medium. I need to be not so worried about it that it stresses me, but smart enough so I can be semi-comfortable.

After all, I am looking forward to the day when I can stay home and do crossword puzzles all day long. But I'd prefer to do it with the help of electricity and gas and all that good stuff.

Latest Adult Event: The Baby Shower

Today my mom and I went to the baby shower of a very dear friend. It's not like going to a baby shower is anything new. I've been to my fair share, but not in quite a while. For the men out there who have not been to these mystic events, baby or wedding or otherwise, don't worry. You're not missing much.

I figure there are three tiers of baby shower guests:

1) Girls under the age of 12: They spend most of the time running around and having their cheeks pinched by the resident grandmas and aunts. Their mothers usually force them into the girliest outfit they own, involving lots of pink and ruffles. Usually, they have no idea what's going on as far as the arrival of the baby is concerned.

2) Tweens & Teens: Here the constituency splits - some of these girls legitimately are really interested in the coming of the baby and the conversation of the adults - if only because they want to seem older. Some, however, were dragged by their mom to the shower, and outwardly show that they don't want to be there. Cell phones and loud sighs are crucial accessories.

3) Adults: You know you have reached this phase when you hear yourself say "Awww!" after the opening of EVERY gift - even the washcloths. Acceptable topics of conversation include pregnancy stories, children stories, where your husband is this morning stories, how good/tired/big/glowing the pregnant woman is...and that's about it. The occasional gossip about mutual friends is also shared.

While I do not feel I have completely crossed over into the "adult" category, I feel myself being initiated into their ranks. Now when the pregnancy stories are swapped, I'm pulled into them - "When you have kids you'll know..." The husband stories are substituted with boyfriend and prying minds find themselves asking all sorts of questions about our plans for the future.

Don't get me wrong. I like babies. I think baby things are adorable. However, I do not enjoy hovering bunches of women. That much estrogen in one building isn't healthy. Also, I think a girl should own more than pink (the baby who was the subject of today's shower better be a girly-girl).

Perhaps when it is friends my own age that are having children it will be different. But if you ever hear me oohing at washcloths, feel free to give me a sharp slap upside the head.

To Grow Up or Not To Grow Up

When people learned I would be graduating from SU a year early, I usually got one of two reactions. The first was the "Wow. That's kind of cool/impressive." The second was "Wow. What the hell are you thinking?"

Now that I've actually done it, the question is whether or not a regret it. What a loaded question.

Financially, I can't regret it. Saving upwards of $30,000 of tuition has obviously saved me a lot of debt. Living at home (for now) is continuing to save me money as I've started to pay of my student loans and had to buy a new car.

I also love my job - one that probably wouldn't have been open if I had waited another year. It's really a great combination of the things I liked about my policy studies and public relations majors. Plus the people I work with and the people who receive services from Enable are great.

But I have my moments. When I look at away messages on a Thursday night and they all say "At Chuck's!" When I am dragging myself out of bed on Monday morning and wistfully remembering wearing sweatpants to classes that don't start until 10. When the most riveting conversation I have of the day is about how porn interrupted the Super Bowl. Sometimes you just need to debate the policies of the U.N. or discuss the international political economy of Sub-Saharan Africa.

Perhaps what really got to me was when I started this whole blogging thing again. I went through and read my whole blog from when I was in London. To me, my experiences abroad are inextricably linked with many different things, one of those being school. To be able to say, "Hey, let's go to Paris or Stockholm or Dublin for the weekend," is something I'll probably never get to do again. I miss London tremendously, but maybe I miss what it meant to me even more.

So here I am. No longer a college student, but not quite ready to be an adult. Stuck somewhere in between. But what's done is done and there's nothing I can do about it. To be very sappy:

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

The preceding was one big self-pitying ramble. I apologize. My beginning started a long time ago, and I should probably just get on with it.

So long for now.

An Historic Error...of Judgement if Nothing Else

Ok, I need to rant. While this whole past week has left me with a sense of great hope for our nation, I feel we are making a vital mistake. Everywhere I turn, the same phrase screams at me and sends me into panicky convulsions.

"...an historic election..."
"...an historic day..."
"...an historic inauguration..."

AN historic? Really America? Who decided that would be a good idea?

The word "an", as we all know, is used as the indefinite article before a word that begins with a vowel, replacing the word "a". I am very appreciative of "an". It allows for fluidity in conversation at times that could otherwise be very sticky. For example, "A elephant went for a interesting walk in a arboretum while carrying a old watch and a umbrella," does not exactly roll off the tongue.

Of course, "an" has another use. Some tricky words begin with consonants but, A-HA, make vowel sounds. You can't fool me, "hour" and "honor" - I'll use "an" for you as well.

Now herein lies the problem. "Historic", while beginning with an h like many of those really-a-consonant-but-sounds-like-a-vowel words, is not pronounced "istory", and therefore should not require an "an".

Dictionary.com gives me this reasoning (emphasis my own):
"the form of a before an initial vowel sound (an arch; an honor) and sometimes, esp. in British English, before an initial unstressed syllable beginning with a silent or weakly pronounced h: an historian."

I forgive the British. They do actually say "istory". Correct me if I'm wrong, but I have never heard any American say "an historian". Nor have I ever heard any American say "an history book". WHY IN GOD'S NAME IS IT CORRECT TO SAY "AN HISTORIC"?

Maybe it's not correct. Maybe EVERY media outlet has gotten it wrong. I hope so. But if not, I call upon YOU, America. To quote Gandhi, "You must be the change you wish to see in the world." My wish is for the phrase "an historic" to be eradicated from the American English vocabulary (the Brits can keep it). Join me in my quest and we can create a more perfect union.

YES WE CAN!

Musings on the Inauguration

The following is a commentary on things that I really have no authority on which to comment. Take from it what you will.

The president's (God I love that - President Barack Obama) speech today was in some ways exactly what I expected, and in some ways not at all what I expected. It was decidely, and I'm sure deliberately, more somber than all of his past speeches.

"Yet, every so often the oath is taken amidst gathering clouds and raging storms. At these moments, America has carried on not simply because of the skill or vision of those in high office, but because We the People have remained faithful to the ideals of our forbearers, and true to our founding documents.

So it has been. So it must be with this generation of Americans."

As one of the commentators on NPR put it today, Obama didn't come out and "sing" like in his other speeches. It was his time to grow up, to move from the campaigner to the president. He made it known that there is work to be done - and work to be undone, in his not-so subtle jabs at Bush's policies. He also hinted that things are going to take longer than perhaps projected during the campaign. Unless you are very, VERY naive, this is to be expected.

It didn't matter. I, and millions around the country, hung on his every word. The speech covered all points, from the economy to health care to foreign policy to energy. Hooray for restoring "science to its rightful place"!

I'm still not quite sure what it is about Obama that intrigues me - his ideas for change, his youth, his ability to instill a sense of hope in everyone. The seriousness of his speech today made me believe he could actually DO something, that it wasn't just all talk - something I have so desperately hoped for over the past few months.

I watched the inauguration on www.cnn.com/live at work (don't tell!). And while I was able to hold back the tears (I may have shed one or two on Election Day), I was overwhelmed by the atmosphere projecting from my computer screen. This man, who 50 years ago wouldn't have been able to have a cup of coffee with his vice-president, drew almost 1.5 million people out in JANUARY. Young, old, black, white, families, college kids. The absolute joy and hope of the massive crowd was I think what got to me the most.

Some random notes:

• My motherly instincts took over when all of the former presidents were walking out - all I could think was, "Why are all those old people not wearing hats?!" I'm glad that most later donned some form of ear covering. George H.W. Bush and Aretha Franklin certainly had the right idea.
  

• I was not very happy with the people who booed Bush. I don't like him either but I would never boo him. You trying doing that job. And to the people who sang "Na na na na hey hey hey goodbye" - slightly funnier, but still inappropriate.

• Also, poor Ted Kennedy! Yikes...thoughts are with him.
  

• And while I am a strong supporter of the separation of church and state, sometimes I feel it is appropriate. I'm certainly not talking about Rick Warren - him I could have done without. It's one thing to talk about God in an invocation, but Jesus? Anyway, I absolutely loved the benediction given by the Rev. Joseph Lowery. American needs to ensure that "our faith does not shrink though pressed by the flood of mortal ills." Amen to that!

So now it begins - a new era for America. And hopefully it will be a new era.

"So let us mark this day with remembrance, of who we are and how far we have traveled. In the year of America's birth, in the coldest of months, a small band of patriots huddled by dying campfires on the shores of an icy river. The capital was abandoned. The enemy was advancing. The snow was stained with blood. At a moment when the outcome of our revolution was most in doubt, the father of our nation ordered these words be read to the people: "Let it be told to the future world...that in the depth of winter, when nothing but hope and virtue could survive...that the city and the country, alarmed at one common danger, came forth to meet ."

America. In the face of our common dangers, in this winter of our hardship, let us remember these timeless words. With hope and virtue, let us brave once more the icy currents, and endure what storms may come. Let it be said by our children's children that when we were tested we refused to let this journey end, that we did not turn back nor did we falter; and with eyes fixed on the horizon and God's grace upon us, we carried forth that great gift of freedom and delivered it safely to future generations."

Ok, So I Skipped a Year....

Right. Blogging. It's been a while. Now that I'm back from London, I'm not really sure I have anything exciting to blog about any more. But I figured I give it a go. Please notify me if I become tremendously boring.

So let me catch you up on the past year of my life, in case you missed it:

• Came back from London and spent my last semester at Syracuse living with three great girls on Euclid. Again, I marvel at how my housing situations have worked themselves out. I've never been one to have a lot of girlfriends, but all of my roommates (and adopted roommates) have been great.
• The semester itself was relatively uneventful. I took the standard 5 classes and did okay. Rick was gone all semester doing an internship at the State Assembly in Albany, so I only saw him every other weekend.
• On May 11, 2008, I graduated from Syracuse University. I still haven't quite convinced myself of that fact. I had spent the last few months of the semester frantically searching for a job, to no avail.
• On May 13, 2008 (yes, I took ONE DAY OFF after graduation - believe me, not my choice), I began working full-time as a secretary in my mom's office. Had to have that health insurance.
• After about 3 months of checking patients out and memorizing diagnosis codes (Knee pain? 71946. Depression? 300) I stumbled across a position in the classified section at Enable and applied.

So I got the job. I am now the Donor Relations Coordinator at Enable, a non-profit that provides services for people with disabilities. My main functions are fund raising and public relations, and all that those things entail. I really like my job, and Enable is really a great organization. Plus, I have my own office!

Enable is on Court Street on the north side of Syracuse. So for now, I'm still living at home in Baldwinsville. Figured I'd should probably save some money.

So that's about it. Stay tuned for updates on the real world.

Home Again

After a 7 ½ hour flight to New York, a three hour layover, and a 1 a.m. landing in Syracuse, I finally made it home early Friday morning. This past weekend has been spent reflecting on my semester and basking in the familiar comforts of Baldwinsville. My time in London has affected me greatly, but the experience is hard to put into words.

Let’s be honest. I really didn’t go to London just to study. Getting credit for classes while there was like an added bonus. I went to London to learn about the world, and ended up learning even more about myself.

London taught me about different cultures, different ideals, and different values. It showed me that these can coexist, and that these differences should be celebrated, not ignored or rebuked. This lesson is one I will always remember, and will apply to all aspects of my life.

In London I learned that I could survive in a big city far from home. Before this trip, I had never been away from Central New York for more than two weeks at a time. Being away makes home much more special and comforting. I learned that I can manage my budget and negotiate a rent. I learned that I’m not a horrendous cook, but that I do have a horrible sense of direction.

I learned of all these things while making London my own. To me, London is my city, although I’m sure all of my peers feel the same way. It was my route that I took to school each day, where the store fronts became landmarks and countless tourists asked me for directions as if I was a local. It was my grocery store where I went to the same cashier each week because she was the fastest. London is my city, just as it has been the city of millions before me and will be the city of millions to come.

This weekend I relished in everything I had missed – seeing my family and friends, playing with my dogs, watching the Buffalo Bills and Syracuse basketball, driving my car. Although I could not have imagined a better first weekend home, I have to admit I was a bit torn. Part of me still longed for London, for the hustle and bustle of the big city where there was always something to do, for my own flat.

I suppose that’s the mark of a good trip; I wanted to stay and to come home simultaneously. I hope to go back someday and re-visit all of my favorite haunts. London was the best experience of my life, and I have hundreds of pictures and memories to prove it. Please forgive me if it’s all I talk about for the next, oh, five years or so.