401khaos

My most recent paycheck included my first deduction into my 401k account. Great time to start investing , right? I picked the plan our strapping young advisor, Dario, suggested, hoping to avoid as much as the market volatility as I can (yea right). It's crazy seeing how much people with a lot of money in their 401k's have lost so much recently, even those not involved in some form of Ponzi scheme. It's a little unnerving that my retirement money is in the hands of something I don't know much about.

When I noticed the deduction from my paycheck, it got me thinking about all the things I want to do in life. Places to go, people to see, all that good stuff. Several months ago Rick and I made "things to do before we die" lists. A lot of those things I'd prefer to do before I reach retirement, especially considering I'm probably going to be working until I'm 85 at this rate.

Unfortunately, a lot of those things involve money in some way shape or form. Money is scary to me. Even right now, while I live at home and have very few expenses, money is scary. I very often drift into thinking about whether I will have enough money to move out, to get married, to have kids, to retire. Talk about getting ahead of myself.

There are some things I don't hesitate to spend money on. Food seems to be one of them (surprised?). Gas to go see Rick. Paying back my loans by more than I need to so I'm done sooner. But there are many other things I can't justify spending money on. For example, CNY Blooms (I really like flowers) is coming up in March on a weekend when Rick might be here. I looked it up online to find more info - tickets are $8 each. Forget it. To me, that seems like a lot - even though I know I could afford it.

I think I'm a good saver. I've had a savings account since I was seven and rarely touch it. Direct deposit helps. And now with this 401k I'm putting money toward retirement (aka when my body catches up with my mind).

I wish, to some extent, I could think like those people who say, "You're never going to have enough money to (insert activity here), so you might as well do it now." On the other hand, to some extent I wish I could be more self-disciplined and frugal. I guess I need that happy medium. I need to be not so worried about it that it stresses me, but smart enough so I can be semi-comfortable.

After all, I am looking forward to the day when I can stay home and do crossword puzzles all day long. But I'd prefer to do it with the help of electricity and gas and all that good stuff.