Posts
When people learned I would be graduating from SU a year early, I usually got one of two reactions. The first was the "Wow. That's kind of cool/impressive." The second was "Wow. What the hell are you thinking?"
Now that I've actually done it, the question is whether or not a regret it. What a loaded question.
Financially, I can't regret it. Saving upwards of $30,000 of tuition has obviously saved me a lot of debt. Living at home (for now) is continuing to save me money as I've started to pay of my student loans and had to buy a new car.
I also love my job - one that probably wouldn't have been open if I had waited another year. It's really a great combination of the things I liked about my policy studies and public relations majors. Plus the people I work with and the people who receive services from Enable are great.
But I have my moments. When I look at away messages on a Thursday night and they all say "At Chuck's!" When I am dragging myself out of bed on Monday morning and wistfully remembering wearing sweatpants to classes that don't start until 10. When the most riveting conversation I have of the day is about how porn interrupted the Super Bowl. Sometimes you just need to debate the policies of the U.N. or discuss the international political economy of Sub-Saharan Africa.
Perhaps what really got to me was when I started this whole blogging thing again. I went through and read my whole blog from when I was in London. To me, my experiences abroad are inextricably linked with many different things, one of those being school. To be able to say, "Hey, let's go to Paris or Stockholm or Dublin for the weekend," is something I'll probably never get to do again. I miss London tremendously, but maybe I miss what it meant to me even more.
So here I am. No longer a college student, but not quite ready to be an adult. Stuck somewhere in between. But what's done is done and there's nothing I can do about it. To be very sappy:
Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
The preceding was one big self-pitying ramble. I apologize. My beginning started a long time ago, and I should probably just get on with it.
So long for now.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
nice entry, deb! I understand your feelings of flux. I felt similar things when I was home through the summer and interminable fall. I think the few years after graduation are strange ones whether or not you graduated early. I fully anticipate using the "quarterlife crisis" tags in my blog for several years to come. It will be impossible not to miss college. I plan to be confused until I am at least 33. also let's go to chuck's.
ReplyDelete