Latest Adult Event: The Baby Shower

Today my mom and I went to the baby shower of a very dear friend. It's not like going to a baby shower is anything new. I've been to my fair share, but not in quite a while. For the men out there who have not been to these mystic events, baby or wedding or otherwise, don't worry. You're not missing much.

I figure there are three tiers of baby shower guests:

1) Girls under the age of 12: They spend most of the time running around and having their cheeks pinched by the resident grandmas and aunts. Their mothers usually force them into the girliest outfit they own, involving lots of pink and ruffles. Usually, they have no idea what's going on as far as the arrival of the baby is concerned.

2) Tweens & Teens: Here the constituency splits - some of these girls legitimately are really interested in the coming of the baby and the conversation of the adults - if only because they want to seem older. Some, however, were dragged by their mom to the shower, and outwardly show that they don't want to be there. Cell phones and loud sighs are crucial accessories.

3) Adults: You know you have reached this phase when you hear yourself say "Awww!" after the opening of EVERY gift - even the washcloths. Acceptable topics of conversation include pregnancy stories, children stories, where your husband is this morning stories, how good/tired/big/glowing the pregnant woman is...and that's about it. The occasional gossip about mutual friends is also shared.

While I do not feel I have completely crossed over into the "adult" category, I feel myself being initiated into their ranks. Now when the pregnancy stories are swapped, I'm pulled into them - "When you have kids you'll know..." The husband stories are substituted with boyfriend and prying minds find themselves asking all sorts of questions about our plans for the future.

Don't get me wrong. I like babies. I think baby things are adorable. However, I do not enjoy hovering bunches of women. That much estrogen in one building isn't healthy. Also, I think a girl should own more than pink (the baby who was the subject of today's shower better be a girly-girl).

Perhaps when it is friends my own age that are having children it will be different. But if you ever hear me oohing at washcloths, feel free to give me a sharp slap upside the head.